There is no greater predictor of a young man’s life:
1) if they grew up with a father.
2) if they grew up without a father.
And Brig, Soren and Reidar not only had to grow up without a father, but had to daily manage the emotions of an unstable, and delusional mother. Watch the “Joker” movie and you will comprehend the catastrophic damage caused by the daily management of the “mother’s delusional narrative about the father”.
The boys lost childhood is now irrevocable, with the twins having reached 18 years old. The saddest part is that the harm could have been stopped early. The harm was caused by the willful and deliberate actions of Lise-Anne, their own mother. It was not caused by disease, or an accident or natural disaster.
It could have been stopped ! Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.
I poured 100% effort into stopping the child abuse, begging people and institutions and therapists to help. But the community, legal system and government services did not stop it–cowardly actors. Almost everyone diverted their eyes from such wickedness, and pretended that such wickedness could not exist in a mother. In the face of overwhelming evidence against Lise-Anne, many people did mind-bending gymnastics and absurd excuses to avoid facing the reality that Lise-Anne is a child predator. Nobody actually believed Lise-Anne’s lies and outrageous allegations, but they were too afraid to face her wrath, or to counsel her to stop the cruelty.
There is no possibility of Justice For The Putnam Boys1 anymore- it is too late
Although justice is not possible, redemption in adulthood is possible. The boys can be redeemed in adulthood by entering reality, and engaging with family and friends who interact with love, and escape from a mother that uses them as a weapons of blackmail and emotional regulation. Other adult children of Parental Alienation have redeemed themselves, and their redemption was only possible by confronting the painful facts and reality of their childhood. There is no easy path towards redemption. The research shows that when these alienated children did not confront the deceit, blackmail and manipulation later on in life, they failed to achieve redemption, and remained prisoners with Stockholm Syndrome. The liftoff into an independent and flourishing life was shattered.
Redemption allows the boys to regain their genuine spirit, and become the person they were destined to become, with genuine aims and desires. They can seek reality over delusions. They can seek their own desires over their mother’s desires. They can seek their own “opinions”, over their mother’s beliefs. They can learn life honestly from hard falls and ambition, rather than navigating life with a constant goal of avoiding hysteria and bullying emotions of their mother. With redemption, they will have left the Cult.
Not only can the boys achieve redemption, but Lise-Anne also has a pathway to redemption. However her redemption only comes through a painful mea culpa, and taking responsibility for her actions- and acknowledging the absurdity of her hoaxes and deceit. She is both a perpetrator and a victim. As much as you might wish that sedating Lise-Anne with her delusions will keep her balanced and happy. This approach of feigning belief, comforting Lise-Anne with chit-chat, or letting her change the dire subject of child abuse, only enables her wickedness. The path to redemption is painful one- acknowledging heinous faults and errors. When you comfort Lise-Anne’s tears, or you half-close your eyes to her abuse of the children, you are aiding and abetting child-abuse. If you are too timid to ask her obvious questions about logical inconsistencies in her delusions, then you only delay her path to redemption. You are doing her no favors by comforting her, and blankly ignoring her narratives “that don’t add up”.
I don’t seek revenge, imprisonment or any harm to befall Lise-Anne. I also don’t want to prevent the boys from having a relationship with their mother. Truly, I am not bitter or resentful. In fact, I have forgiven her. Lise-Anne truly does know not what she does. Her wickedness is a response to her uncontrolled hysteria, panic and fear. Her wickedness is an outcome of these negative emotions, and not because she was born an evil witch. But the reality is that she has become a devastatingly cruel creature- destroying her own children. I do not seek revenge, or even justice anymore. Instead, the emotion I feel towards Lise-Anne is an immense, inconsolable abyss of despair. The evil she has unleashed on our family is breathtaking.
What I seek is a “Truth and Redemption” path forward, like the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa led by Nelson Mandela. “The Truth” is necessary for redemption, as painful as it is for people to hear the Truth at times. I am not bad-mouthing Lise-Anne, nor am I denigrating Lise-Anne, nor am I lashing out at her to be punished for her crimes. I have forgiven her. I am simply speaking the Truth for Redemption, and for the chance that my boys can regain contact with reality.
When we bury the crimes of past, and continue to live a life full of lies, we are bound to repeat them. In fact the suffering will only be worse in the future. It is critically important to endure the pain of speaking the Truth today; for each of us to grow and learn and become better human beings tomorrow. It is about redemption, not justice.
Brig, Soren and Reidar must regain an attachment to reality to be successful in life. There is no other path. Drugs, delusions and wanton violence are not ingredients for success. Lies Destroy Lives, and Truth is the adventure of a lifetime.
Redemption awaits the boys, … it is only timidity and cowardice at facing uncomfortable truths that could derail it.
Be Brave.
- The website JusticeForThePutnamBoys.com has been retired in Oct 2024 ↩︎